As hoteliers, we learned to be discrete and not expose our customers as we do not bite the hand that feeds us. However, with time passing and not mentioning any names, some stories can be recorded now. Most of them are funny and nobody will be harmed.

I will try to add more as they come back into my memory but first to the ones that stuck in my mind.

 

The very young years, kitchen apprentice at play

These stories are still from my time as a kitchen apprentice. You are a bit more crazy during that time and always try to think about ways to upset people, just a little. Automatic doors were such a fantastic tool at that time. We had two of those, and they were not see through, so the customers could not see the back of the house. One to go out and one to go in. You had to step onto a special floor mat and the door would slide away from the middle to both sides. These doors were very fast, which was good for pranks.

One day the Chef was going out into the dining room area and when we saw him coming back, we switched the door on the inside quickly to a lock status. The chef was a very big and heavy man. By the time he realized that the door is not opening, it was already too late to stop, and we heard a very loud “Bong” from the door and then some unflattering words. Quickly changing the switch back to automatic and running full speed into the kitchen and doing our work, just like nothing has happened. I don’t think he ever blamed us for this, but he was talking about the stupid modern things.

This door was also perfect to play with the waiters. Imagine a waiter, balancing a big tray on one hand over his shoulders with plates and glasses on it, walking full speed into the door and us switching again the door switch to lock when the door opened just halfway. The waiter makes it through but not the tray. The ensuing sounds are great entertainment, at least we thought that at the time.

Another annoying trick was to lay dry ham on the shoulders of a headwaiter. One apprentice distracted the head waiter, whilst the other would place the dry ham nicely from left to right on the shoulder of the black suit. When you walk into the dining room with the dimmed light, the headwaiter looked from the distance as he would be topless. We had a great lough, but also had to face some consequences later on.

Naked, locked out guest

This story came back to my mind when the YouTube video of a naked man on the hallway came out. I remember a very similar case at the hotel I worked as receptionist back in Switzerland a long time ago. This guest was Japanese, awkwardly appearing under the door leading into the lobby area, totally naked with a confused look on his face. Our concierge on duty that day, a very heavy built man, jumped over the concierge counter in an instant and grabbing a coat on the way over, wrapping the guest in it and seating him into a chair next to the concierge area. I have never seen this concierge moving that fast. I think, he even surprised himself. Seeing the distress on the face of the customer, provoked the professional reaction.

Everybody got curious what the story is. We all tried to find out what happened. After some discussions with hand and feet, as communication was not the easiest, we understood that the guest went to visit a friend’s room nearby for some fun. On the way back, realizing that he had no key on him and not able to recall which door he came out of, he considered it was better to go down than to knock on a possible stranger’s door. Armed with a master key and the customer still wrapped in the coat, our small procession went up to the man’s room. Arriving, the concierge pushed down the door handle and of course, the door opens. At this time in Switzerland, key cards were still just starting to appear. Our doors at that time were old key locks and had to be locked manually. They would not lock automatically when closed. It might was normal in other countries at that time but not in good old Switzerland.

The facial expression of the guest was priceless when he realized that the door was not locked and knowing, that he could have tried to open it. All the embarrassment would not have happened. He provided us all with a good laugh, and I am sure he was much more careful in the future.

 Unrecognized VIP

Working at the front office, with a very old-fashioned Front Office Manager, who is not trusting anybody, because he is scared that the younger guys could take his job away, made it very difficult for information to flow. We were always kept on a need to know basis. On that specific day, we were just told that a VIP would arrive in the afternoon. Just call me if I am not around, the Front Office Manager said. This manager had the tendency to disappear for extended times. A VIP will arrive, was all the information we got. I still remember the day, it was rather quiet, and we worked on our duties. I was standing at the reception desk and out of the corner of my eye I saw a big man coming in through the revolving door and approaching the front desk all by himself. In front of me, stands a very large and tall man and says “Grüss Gott”. I look back, say hello and my mind is racing, as I feel I know this man. I have seen his face. Is he a regular customer or somebody else? Nothing clicks in my mind and the best answer I had was moving the registration booklet to him and saying, can you please register. At that moment, our Front Office Manager comes running around the corner and takes him away to the rooms. Then it clicked, the big man was Helmut Kohl, the Chancellor of Germany at that time. What an embarrassing situation it was for me and the guest, and it could have been handled much better, but it is a good story to tell.

Wig taking off

One day in the restaurant, an elderly couple, long staying guest at the hotel, came slowly towards the dining room. The last part was a wide staircase leading into the restaurant. As the women reached the last step of the stairs, she stumbled and fell down. The worst part of it was, that the hair came off. The Restaurant manager standing nearby jumped to get the hair piece, slammed it back onto her head, and only then started to help her up on her feet. His quick thinking and reaction helped to prevent a very embarrassing situation for the customer. She still looked funny with the hair the wrong way around, but she was not bold.

Dress code

At that time the dress code for our restaurant was jacket and tie,  proper shoes and no shorts. The code was strongly enforced all the time. We even had some extra jackets in stock to help out when need be. One of our special customers, that was always a bit irked by the code, was an American in his 70s. I think he made some money in the movie industry and was now living nearby. I never forget him arriving,  with a big smile on his face,  dressed in pants, shoes, jacket and tie but no shirt and no socks. He went to the head waiter and said,  you see,  I stick to the dress code. Nothing we could do about it, but it makes for a great memory.

Looking for a friend

One day we had a specifically funny situation with a guest coming to the lobby and asking if we had seen his friend. Wanting to know how he looks like, he described him as Asian looking with black hair. For any regular day, this would have been a sufficient description to remember a guest. We did not have too many Asian customers in the 90s. However, my colleague and I just started bursting out laughing loud. Seeing the customer getting upset, not understanding why we laughed, I took him to the function room next to the lobby. There we had about 200 Japanese customers attending a cocktail reception. Seeing a sea of black hair and Asian faces, he understood that we had difficulties to remember which one could be his friend.

It is not always what you expect

This story was happening in an Asian Hotel I worked. I was in the lobby lounge talking to my GM when he realized that my assistant was talking to a stunning Asian woman near the hotel entrance. He immediately took off in that direction with me in tow and with his sweetest voice asked my assistant why he would not introduce him to this beautiful lady.

My assistant, first a bit taken aback then said Mr. X, this is Mrs. Y. My GM immediately grabbing the hand of the most beautiful lady with a big smile on his face and said, “how do you do”. She in return, turns the eyes, winks a bit with her eye lays and says with a very deep baritone voice “how do you do”. The smile on my GM’s face disappeared in an instant, and he wiggled himself awkwardly out of the situation. My assistant and I had a good laugh for several days after this.

Piano Player

A hotel I worked in had a beautiful mezzanine floor from which one could observe the lobby lounge as well. On the far end of the Mezzanine floor was a Piano, very seldom used.

One evening, I was sitting with the Resident Manager and the GM on the opposite end of the Mezzanine floor, the piano in my view and the lobby visible below us, having a drink and chatting about the day.

A woman approached the piano, opened it and started to play. Not a bad quality, but I also knew that I have not hired anybody. Therefore, it must be a guest. In my had, I started to sketch up a memo that I will have to issue the next day, informing the staff to lock all pianos when not in use. As I was chatting with the GM, I just let it be. After about 10 minutes, he started to ask me who this is and why she is playing, and I had to confess that I had no idea. He started to tell me how this is unacceptable, and I have to stop this. If everybody starts to use the piano, we will have problems etc. etc. He just didn’t stop. I got up and told him that I will put it right immediately. Somehow the women realized that we were talking about her and by the time I stood up, she walked off. When I was coming back, the GM looked at me and said with a straight face, that I have to be careful what I tell to the people. This woman was a friend of the owner, and she had the approval to use the piano. So much for getting the right information at the right time. It is not proper to put into words what I was thinking at that time.

I hope these stories get you to smile a bit and also bring back some memories of your life. I will continue to add as it comes to mind. Let me know in the comments of a story that happened to you.